frameup

And once again, I pay homage to the quietnes of solitude...

It is the prospect and afterthought of all the pain that I have caused in the past, all the pain I am causing in the present and all the pain I for damn sure will cause in the future that brings it on.
The solitude that not even the warmest of summer days, the brightest sun or the greenest ocean can ever cure
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I take this as a healthy sign. This solitude does not mean puffy and tired eyes, does not mean tears or anger managment issues nor does it mean that I believe I am to loose my mind.
It means that it is time to grow...maybe even to a better human being.
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Every person that slides acros the face of this planet has one of this nights, and I beg of you:

Use it wisely - you never know when you have it next

Everything and though nothing could change... Why gamble on it?

And to the ones that these lines of seemingly empty words are for:

You enriched my lives and made me grow, made me better.
And still I managed to cause you pain, just by being who I am...or the one I used to be.
To you it might just be words without meaning, that they mean even less than my heartache compared to yours.
If you where to listen to me just one more time, hear this:
I'm sorry that you ever got to see me, the real me.
I could tell you that you deserve better, that it was me and not you, that you are the sunshine of my life.
But I can only imagine that the pain that I have allready caused you get's even worse with those words..

So all I'll say is:

I'm sorry that I hurt you. It was all me, you did nothing wrong. I hurt you because you made me love you, you stripped me from my clothes and flung me up against a wall forcing me to see myself.
And for that I had to hurt you.
I'm sorry...

You know I love you